Traumatic Dream

I had a quantum biofeedback scanning done on me for better health management in early part of April this year. The machine has an uncanny ability to scan for imbalances in the various levels of the biofields of the body. It was in this session that I was told that the amalgam fillings in my teeth should be removed because they are poison and causing much of the ailments in my body. The readings were all unclear to me, I was given numbers and symbols which I just could not at all understand. However, what amazed me was the part when the machine gave some numbers (representing my age) supposedly the times in my life I went through some traumatic experience. The numbers given were four, six, ten, twenty-four (4,6,10,24,etc.). And like a movie flashback, I found myself reminiscing what had happened to me at age ten.

As a backgrounder, my dad was a salesman with a big tobacco company in the early '60s and his work would require him on the road and out of town most of the time. But as a dutiful husband and father, he made sure that he would be home during weekends or during special occasions.

In summer of 1963, I was requested to be the Reyna Elena in the May festival celebration in our barrio, Ususan, Taguig. It was a big event in my life. Not all girls were given the privilege of being one. I woke up excited for the event and for my dad's homecoming. I knew this was one occasion he would not miss and he gave me that promise. I fervently hoped that he would arrive early so I can show off to him my beautiful gown and so that he could accompany me to the parlor to have my long hair done. I spent the whole day on the stairway waiting for him. Afternoon came and there was no sign of him not even a call from him. My mom assured me that he would come. Nightfall came and still dad had not arrived. My mom said that I better get prepared because the "musico" or the marching band would come anytime soon to fetch me for the procession. I remembered wearing a bad face all throughout the procession because I did not have my dad with me. The procession ended without him. My mom could not assuage my feelings. I was feeling something more. I was so afraid and I thought I knew why. I can't tell anyone what I felt because they would not believe me. Besides, I was not that sure. My mom could not make me stop crying. Then an emissary came and told us a bad news; my dad had an accident. The vehicle he was riding turn-turtled and fell into a ravine somewhere in Baguio while he as on his way home. We came to know later that he was brought to the orthopedic hospital because he sustained some broken bones in the rib cage area.

When dad came out of the hospital, he recounted to us how the accident happened. He said that the road was slippery and his driver made a poor calculation of the road curves. The last thing he knew was the vehicle slid on the side of the cliff and plunge into the ravine. He managed to open the door and jumped out of the car and luckily hit soft soil. However, a few seconds later, he felt a heavy thud on his chest. The vehicle landed on top of him! His driver was able to get out of the car and asked for help. They were rescued in no time. As he was reminiscing, he said that he was saved by Mama Mary. He had the rosary in his hand when the incident happened.

I now have this confession to make I have kept this a secret since I was a child of 10. I knew the reason why I was so afraid because I knew that something bad was going to happen. I saw it in my dream the night before. I saw my dad inside a coffin, wearing a muddied undershirt, no trace of blood or bruise, holding his rosary. But when I looked at him closely, he smiled at me. He is alive!

The doctor herself was so amazed of my revelation. I never realized too that that childhood incident would haunt me 'til now and deeply embedded still in my subconscious. Who would know that one traumatic experience could start from one bad dream?

Post script

Had the incident happened today I think I could have averted the mishap because I would do everything within my powers to warn him and hopefully he would heed my request.

Dad is now eighty-five (85) years old, healthy and strong, and enjoying his retirement with my stepmom, Amelia (mom died in 1984) here in the Philippines with my family. I am happy because Mama Mary and her Son Jesus have given him a good lease on life.

Love the Priests, Love the Church (In memory of mommy Glo)

I grew up, as I've said in my testimonial to Ka  Loring Franco, a Mother Theresa Awardee in 2002, surrounded with men and women in cloak. My mom Gloria Cruz Subia and Ate Luming, mom's eldest sister were supporters and benefactors of persons with vocation entering the seminary or the convent to serve the Lord.  A good number of them have successfully finished their studies, ordained or have professed their vows and now occupy coveted positions in the church hierarchy.

My mom was not only a benefactor to them but a surrogate mother too.  She was there anytime these seminarians and postulants need help, personal or otherwise. They were my big brothers or big sisters.  As a young girl, sometimes they will tag me along while going around the barrio conducting part of their immersion requirement   as catechist, community workers, pre-school teachers, parish helpers, etc. I was a silent listener when they talked about their hardships, the struggles they had with their studies, superiors, peers or even their families (I was at times privy to their personal crises, too). I have witnessed attending several priestly ordinations or profession of vows, and installation of assignments.  We were there too visiting them in hospitals when the toil of hard work catches up or  in the seminaries where they were sent back to be taken cared of  because they were not fit anymore to do parochial or missionary duties.

This experience I had with these men and women in my young age had greatly affected me with my dealings with priests and nuns.  I think i had imbibed the role of my mom and my aunt in my little way the support I give to would-be priests and would-be nuns and to my priest and nun friends.  I am proud that my whole family, my husband Monching and children Rj, Ginger and Monique has fully supported me in this endeavor.

My involvement in the church is all the more deepened by my two closest friends and brothers in Christ, Rev. Frs. Anton Pascual and Benny Tuazon. They had exposed me not only with regards to the faith but in community service as well. They are both infectious!!! Their dedication, commitment, selflessness, humility and awareness to the needs of the poor is beyond reproves. 

In early 1998 Fr. Anton approached me to temporarily relieve him as Exec. Director of Simbayanan ni Maria Foundation, Inc. He promised me that it will just be a short stint. He said he would like to have some learning space while embarking on the new job assigned to him as Executive Director of Caritas Manila and he will claim back the position once done.  Since I was a neophyte in community service, he instructed our community organizer to orient me and give me a first hand experience in the community. 

 And baptism of fire it was!! One early morning Russell, our community organizer cum project coordinator, asked me to accompany him survey a community where we will conduct our medical/dental mission. As eager as I was, I gamely accepted. I liked to look  good and make an impression, I put on sandals, jeans and branded shirt we went. I brought a car and parked it in a nearby store and walked a few hundred meters to the meeting area.  Russell was known to the community. People (mothers and kids), upon seeing us followed us happily at the same time calling out to their neighbors announcing that we have arrived. Before we reached the meeting area, we passed by narrow interiors and even within the perimeter walls of some houses. From dry land, the street became wet, then muddy and muddier. I thought maybe we were just taking an easy way to the site. As we reach the end of the pasillo, I saw group of women seated on rickety benches on the muddied pool of water.  We were warmly greeted and given a seat. By this time my sandals and the helms of my jeans were already soaking wet with dirty water with obnoxious stench. I tried to put up a strong front while we were conducting "need analysis", but the foul smell and mud now caked in my feet was just too much to bear. Towards the end of the session, when we were discussing our plans and programs for the community, I felt nauseous and my stomach churning.  I was turning pale. The community noticed it happening and I was on the verge of passing out.  Strong hands literally lifted me up and brought me out of the area.  They profusely apologized but I can't say enough. Once I have breathed fresh air, drank cold water  and regained my consciousness I asked Russell for us to leave.  I felt ashamed. They did not condemn me or made fun of me for my weakness, rather, what I saw in them was genuine concern for me. They comforted me. That's when I realized what Fr. Anton was saying all the time that "there is no poor man however poor who could not give and there is no rich man however rich who would not need".  That experience gave me the strength to take up the challenge of working in the community and it has been my resolve since then.

Working in a Parish Office was farthest to my mind. Fr. Anton when he was our parish priest, never invited me to work in the parish. He knew then perhaps that I am not cut for such kind of work. I was a corporate person. But Fr. Benny when he became the parish priest of St. Alphonsus Mary de Liguori in Magallanes, thought otherwise.  He knew what to do.. "niligawan nya ang asawa ko, si Monching" before he talked to me and convinced me to work with him in the parish as a volunteer. I never knew that parish work could be very fulfilling and rewarding and at times challenging . Working in the parish with the team of volunteers and church workers make us an alter ego of the priest. We help the parish priest run the parish office, coordinate with the lay leaders with regards to the programs and activities of the church, process documents for sacramental requirements, assist in the day to day operation of the parish, help take care in the preservation of records and assets of the church, answers questions that pertains to the policies and procedures, etc. One important message that Fr. Benny has time and again hammering into our heads is that we as workers in the church must always be a messenger of truth. Our very presence should help deepen the faith of the church goers and project an image of compassion, tranquility and humility. Fr. Benny said we are the frontliners we should serve with charity in order to bring people closer to God. Now I fully understand what he meant when he said "our work is our ministry".

I owe my mom a lot for making me of who i am now. The legacy she left  imprinted in me the love and respect for the servants of the Lord.  And I wish I could also be like my mom who is worthy of emulation by my children and grandchildren.

the Simbayanan ni Maria Foundation, Inc.’s Conversion to CF. Are we really ready?

More than 15 years ago, the Simbayanan ni Maria Foundation, Inc. was founded with the noble intention of helping to build a brighter future for Taguig City. Through the leadership of Rev. Fr. Anton CT Pascual, then-parish priest of the Holy Rosary Parish of Lower Bicutan, a social services arm for the Parish was created to provide concrete educational and socio-economic opportunities for the community. 

Rev. Fr. Pascual started a scholarship program that would sponsor the education of the deserving yet underprivileged youth of Taguig. It was his hope that the program would eventually sustain the educational needs of at least one family member for every indigent family in the area.  He believed spiritual formation and practical education to be the keys to a better, fuller life for everyone, and he envisioned this for all his parishioners.

Yet he recognized that it was something no man can do alone. Fr. Pascual solicited the support of many individuals and families who believe they had a stake in the future of their less fortunate brothers and sisters and who were willing to answer the call to help.

Among those who answered his call for assistance were the couple, Rafael “Boy” Dizon, Jr. and his wife Shalene who are devout Catholics and committed philanthropists.

This working together of people devoted to serving the Lord is what eventually paved the way for the formation of a Christ-centered organization by which all His hopes for the community could be realized on a broader scale. 

Thus, the Simbayanan ni Maria Foundation was born. Simbayanan represents the coming together of the Church or Simbahan and the Community or Bayan in order to reach a common goal: dignity for every human person as created by God.

Since then, the Dizon family has continuously dedicated themselves to the causes of the Foundation and has shown their unwavering support for many of its initiatives. By the grace of God, this, along with partnerships with other interest groups, pledges from other private citizens, as well as sound financial management, have kept the fire of hope burning for Simbayanan and the Taguigenos who continue to benefit from its existence.

Since its inception in the early 90s, the Foundation has lived by its vision of “total human development and social transformation of its members and beneficiaries.” This is further concretized by its Mission Statement: To empower the Simbayanan ni Maria Community through a sustaining and sustained program of values formation, technical education, socio-economic opportunities and an integrated cooperative system for its members and beneficiaries, and the community of Taguig.

 Under this banner, along with its Objectives and Guiding Principles, the Simbayanan ni Maria has launched and implemented various projects.

Its flagship program, the College Scholarship Program has been the jewel that carved the Foundation into the hearts of the people of Taguig. It has been its most sustained program and so far, the longest running. In 2006, the Foundation was able to cater to the educational needs of 26 youth from 18 barangays and has facilitated the graduation of more than 500 program beneficiaries since 1991. The program has also produced numerous cum laudes and academic excellence awardees from among its many scholars.

The Foundation also granted vocational scholarships to deserving community women in 2002-2003, partnering with New Era College (for a care giving course) as well as with Don Bosco Makati for short-term technical courses for others. A total of 69 scholars were enrolled for both programs.

Among its other social services programs, the Foundation has also initiated its own Health Program where the services of private health professionals are tapped and are brought to communities where they are needed most. Medical missions have consistently been conducted both for health promotion and treatment within the Taguig area.

Special programs are also continuously launched by the Foundation, in line with the realization of its goals and objectives as a social organization. Since its founding, a micro-lending program has been on-going, as initiated by the Foundation, with a special partnership with the Gregorio Araneta Social Development Foundation in order to raise the initial capital of 23,000 php back in 1996.

The program is now diligently continued by its sister organization, the Simbayanan ni Maria Development Cooperative (SMDC). In fact, the program now prides itself with having established a membership of 10,000 individuals with a total loan portfolio of more than 200 Million Pesos.

More minor programs have been implemented by the Foundation such as the Job Placement Program that has helped almost 14,000 job seekers find employment.

An annual summer sports fest – The Simbayanan Cup – was also held from 1998 to 2001 in order to encourage camaraderie among the youth, discipline and perseverance. It is part of the Foundation’s youth development and drug prevention programs.

Aside from these, programs for the well-being and development of Children in Taguig were also sponsored by the Foundation, including those that target the positive formation of the Family as the basic unit in society (Adopt-a-Barangay program, Triple A program, Grades 1,2,3…Heto na Kami program, Taguig Bantay Bata 163).

And lastly, the launch of environmental awareness campaigns, and the provisions for emergency relief assistance.

In order to sustain and launch more programs, the Foundation has actively sought funding from many varied sources. It is not unknown to many that the lifeblood of the Foundation does not only come from the time and effort of its volunteers but also from the people who commit their material blessings for the benefit of the community.

Just last year, a large-scale fund raising effort was launched by the Foundation for the sustenance of its scholarship program --- the 17th anniversary grand raffle, a Toyota Avanza being the grand prize.

Pledges from many concerned, private individuals are also sought. As well as financial assistance coming from Caritas Manila (the social arm of the Archdiocese of Manila) and earnings from the Simbayanan ni Maria Development Cooperative. 

With the Simbayanan ni Maria Foundation in existence for more than a decade and a half, and with the desire to make a more lasting and sustained impact on the community, the Board of Directors decided in 2005 that it was time to convert the structure of the Simbayanan into a Community Foundation (CF).

There are a number of motivations for this Change but most primarily, it is driven by the desire to consolidate the efforts of various sectors of the Taguig community for the alleviation of poverty in the local level. As a fund-raising and grant-making institution, the Community Foundation not only is able to carry out its social responsibility towards the community, but also empowers its members to be able to do the same. It becomes then, a vehicle for community-building apart from the envisioned efficiency with which our development goals shall be attained.

Furthermore, as a Christian-Catholic organization, we believe that a shift to CF would naturally promote the spirit of giving and a culture of philanthropy, which is highly consistent with the guidelines of the Foundation.

Lastly and of utmost importance, the shift to CF is also driven by Simbayanan’s desire to realize our vision for long-term sustainability in the development projects implemented within the community. We desire for our impact on the community to be long-term, lasting and dynamic.

However, it has not been easy to convert into a full-pledged CF. There have been many challenges and obstacles and there are also a great many things to be deliberated upon.

One would be to propose changes in the structure of the organization. Since a great majority of our board and staff are volunteers, the expediency of our deliverables and the achievement of our goals are compromised. For instance, we have come to the realization that our management staff should not be members of the board as well for one cannot occupy two very different positions and expect him/her to perform well, and also that the executive director should not be a volunteer, in order for the person to be fully committed to the transition efforts and other initiatives of the CF.

Also in line with the transition efforts, we have identified that the board should not be appointed but elected, and should ultimately be representative of the community we are serving. We are now in the process of conducting meetings and making the necessary revisions to our structure in order to meet these conversion requirements.

A second concern also is a revisiting of our Mission-Vision statement as an organization. A lot of changes have taken place in the last 15 years and we recognize the need for a more relevant and timely guiding statement that would best encapsulate our new objectives and role in Taguig as a Community Foundation.

 

Furthermore, there is also the concern as to whom would the implementation of projects be passed on. Since many of our members and beneficiaries are depending on these projects, it would not be just to terminate these before an NGO could properly take over them, with the support of the Foundation.

 

This concern then leads us to an obstacle we have faced since converting into a CF. We have learned that there are no registered and established advocacy-driven NGOs within the community. There are some informal interest groups and some who have been established primarily for political reasons but most of them have not had a strong track record of projects and initiatives implemented which makes our task of grant-giving more challenging.

To address this, we recognize a need to establish the following:

1.      Clear guidelines for grant-giving.

2.      Awareness campaigns for the grant-giving function of the CF to encourage community-based initiatives that the CF can support.

3.      Train and assist in the formation of advocacy-driven groups who will be knowledgeable in professionalized provision of services and programs to the community, who will be potential implementers of the CF in the future.

And lastly, the CF recognizes the need for a more assertive fund-raising effort. There is a need to identify and tap into other sources of funds for the CF and there is a need to market our existence and our initiatives more than we have in the past. We propose to form a separate unit within the organization that would address our social marketing and communications concerns as well as push for greater visibility of the CF within the community and even in the national and global spheres.

In conclusion, we are aware that there is long way to go before the Simbayanan ni Maria achieves full Community Foundation status and exercise its new role in Taguig. We also recognize that our work as an organization, is cut out for us. But after 15 years, Simbayanan’s level of commitment to the Taguigenos has not wavered and within us, remains the fervent desire to be a part of an even larger conversion among our community – a conversion towards dignity, fullness of life for everyone and a deep commitment to service for others and to God.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

Finally, I got on the fever

Writing is not one of my forte. its kinda hard for me to elaborate and talk lengthily on a subject when i know it would only require few words to get across to someone your thoughts. Just go direct to the point then its done. Ask questions later if there is a need to clarify.

So why MimamaIya? its actually mi mama iya.  mi mama iya to raya and to my future  grandchildren. Mi = my, Mama = mother, Iya = lola.  Yes this is what i wanted to be called and remembered by them... their mother, grandmother, and friend.